Question

I am 40 years old and single. I have prayed for many years for a husband. Also I have used internet matrimonial services for many years, paying for membership myself. As I am now 40 and my childbearing years are ending, I feel like I have God's answer. I am sad that I can't have a husband and children. I feel like I do not have a future. What do I do now? This is the end, isn't it?

Answer

We are very sorry to hear of your plight. Allah Ta'ala knows the wisdom of every action. Sometimes Allah Ta'ala withholds things from his servants because it could be worse for them to have it. This situation comes from Allah Ta'ala and we should clearly understand that we cannot escape the decision of Allah with regard to any matter in our lives. Whatever Allah Ta'ala decides will happen. We have to have faith in Tafweez (resigning oneself to the decision of Allah) and Taqdeer (predestination). This is the solution to all our anxieties, depression and worries. As the servants and slaves of Allah, we should understand that our Master will grant to us only that which is good for us. Our duty and endeavor is that we supplicate and ask Allah, then make the correct Tadbeer (effort) and thereafter leave the final decision to Allah Ta'ala. This brings peace, contentment and happiness into one's heart. Our advice is that you should condition your heart and generate at least to some extent the favor of Imaan. Conduct Ta'leem, i.e. read some portion from the famous book of 'Fadhaail-e-A'amaal' by Shaykh Zakariyyah (RA) everyday and also search for a Shaykh (spiritual mentor and guide) with whom one can easily relate and attempt to acquire from him the love of Allah, the constant consciousness of His presence and the reality of Tawakkul. If it sincerely something you desire, then continue to make sincere dua to Allah Ta'ala to grant you your desires and inshaAllah Allah Ta'ala will answer you, whether it is now or in some due time. May Allah Ta'ala give us all the tawfeeq to submit to His plans for us in this world and may He make us content with Him and our states at all times. Ameen. [Editor's note: Cure for depression http://islameasy.org/Cure_Depression.php ]

And Allah knows best.

Ask Alimah Team

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