Question
I wear el hijab and I would like to wear el niqaab. My problem is, that my husband doesn't want me to do so. I talked with him a lot about it, but there is no way I can persuade him. I know the reasons why he is against it but talking to him about the benefits of the niqaab has really no use. My question is now, what could I do? I am really desperate. And secondly: before we got married to each other, he said to me, that he wants to live a life following the Quran and Sunnah, doesn't this mean, that he actually he himself would like me to put on the niqaab? I always thought that people who follow the Quran and Sunnah think like this, isn't this correct?
Answer
Dear Sister in Islam, Masha-Allah your zeal and dedication to deeni matters is praiseworthy, especially in today's time when we face difficulty in upholding it. As you have mentioned that before marriage, your husband wanted that you both should live your lives in accordance to the Quraan and Sunnah. You need to think back, when did he move away from this mind set. Was it suddenly or gradually? If it happened suddenly then you should think about what could have brought on the sudden change? if it happened gradually, and you feel that he is moving away from deen (not just the niqaab issue) then you need to examine the issues affecting his thoughts. Is it friends, outside environment etc. Whatever the reasons may be, you will have to remember that every person goes through some changes of mind and heart at some point in their lives. This is part of being human. Allah subhanahoo wa ta'ala has chosen you to be his wife because you will be his strength in upholding deen. Our first advise will be, to uphold Salaah and try to bring more deeni activities into your home. Allah subhanahoo wa ta'ala has taught us in the Holy Quraan, "Ask for my help through patience and Salaah" - Masha-allah you are already observing patience on this challenge. After making wudoo, read 2 rakaah of Salaat-ul-Haajat (prayer of need) daily and open your heart to Allah, ask Him to bring change in both of your lives. Secondly, before he comes home, clear your mind of any of his shortcomings, instead think about all his good habits. You can never win him over by reminding him of what he wanted before marriage etc., he will become agitated. I know of a sister who wears niqaab though her husband totally disagrees on it. However - she never argues the case with him, instead if he brings the topic up, she only politely listens. After 2 or 3 such one sided discussions, he gave up talking about it. However, she says that aside from the niqaab she has given him no reason to be annoyed with her, so he has no option, he loves her dearly! Last but not least, bring the Quraan and Sunnah into your life in all aspects, soon your husband will see your devotion to deen and he will want to do the same. It may take time but remember, the fruits of patience are indeed sweet! May Allah accept your duas and grant you strength in facing these challenges, Aameen!And Allah knows best.
Ask Alimah Team
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