Question

I would like to know Islamic teachings about mother in law? We used to reside with her but she promised lies on Holy Quran and then later admitted that it was a false promise, against my character. its been 5 months. I do not talk to her but now she is persuading my husband to let her stay with us. I want to know that by refusing that I am not commiting a sin. I cannot live like a hypocrite and smile when deep inside I know what she thinks of me and how she treated me before. I can forgive her but I am not able to forget her behavior. She mistreated my family always when they used to come to visit me which was only twice in one year. What can I do and What can i say to her and my husband?

Answer

Allah says in the Noble Quran (Chapter 41, Surah Fussilat):

34. "The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.

35. But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient, and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of the happiness in the Hereafter i.e. Paradise and in this world of a high moral character).

36. And if an evil whisper from Shaitan (Satan) tries to turn you away (O Muhammad SAW) (from doing good, etc.), then seek refuge in Allah. Verily, He is the All-Hearer, the All-Knower."

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I understand your feelings, but let me ask you a simple question. If it would be your own mother, what would you do? Or it could be you, what response would you expect from your daughter in law? No one is perfect,everyone makes mistake. If you will forgive her and respect her, it will
not be counted as hypocrisy. On the other hand your husband will appreciate you for doing that and also Allah will be pleased with you, insha Allah.

May Allah make it easy for you Ameen.

And Allah knows best.

Ask Alimah Team

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