Abused by family members

Question

I wanted to ask that when I was young I was abused by some family members. After my marriage I cannot have any physical relationship with my husband because of what happened. I am completely put off from having any physical relationship and therefore I cannot stay with him any longer. My husband knows what happened and is understanding but he also has needs what do I do? We are separated right now. He loves me a lot, but I cannot have a relationship with and therefore I am being sinful is there anything I can do?

Answer

Jazakallah khair for writing to the institute regarding the problems you are experiencing. Allow me to suggest to you that both of you seek professional help as soon as possible. Please visit your physician with a view to further investigations for yourself. You have obviously suffered physical and perhaps physiological damage due to the abuse.You also need to go a psychologist for counseling to work through all the pain and grief you have been through. You need to learn to have more confidence in yourself and to discover that the wonderful human being within you.Once you can have a better grip on understanding yourself InshAllah you will be able to understand your own needs as well as the needs of your husband. Insha'allah, you will be able to throw off the burden of your early emotional losses and be able to achieve what you wish to, for your family and yourself. I sincerely hope that you go for professsional help as soon as possible. May Allah Ta'ala grant you ease and remove the difficulties you are facing presently. May He also grant your husband the understanding and sabr to help you with your problems so that the relationship and bond becomes stronger between you two. Ameen.

And Allah knows best.

Ask Alimah Team

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